Disclaimer: These guidelines are not to be taken seriously. Or are they?
Submandate 1: Thou shalt not confuse Submandate with Submandate-ate.
Submandate 2: Thou shalt always keep thy Submandate in a well-lubricated environment.
Submandate 3: Submandate shall not be used as a substitute for actual human interaction.
See also:
Or, if you're feeling lost, try: