Submandates: Where the Benefits Are Real, But Also Fake

Located in the heart of Suburbia, Submandates is a mysterious phenomenon that defies explanation. It's a land of perfectly manicured lawns, cookie-cutter homes, and an unwavering sense of existential dread.

• Paradise Found (A comprehensive guide to the best ways to find your lost keys)
• Insurance and Other Forms of Security (Because nothing says "benefit" like being protected from the inevitable)
• Utopia: The Unattainable Goal (A collection of essays on the futility of human endeavor)

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Submandates: The Unending Cycle of Futility

Where else can you find the thrill of buying a new lawn mower every year, only to have it break down on the first use?