Parasitic Pets: Because who needs personal space, anyway?

Welcome, esteemed citizen of the parasitically inclined, to the Bureau of Parasitic Pet Regulation! We're here to help you navigate the complexities of hosting the perfect parasite.

Our services include:

• Parasite registration and licensing
• Parasite-sitting services (because even we need a break sometimes)
• Parasite counseling and therapy (for those pesky emotional attachments)

We're proud to offer a variety of exotic, exotic, and just plain weird parasites for you to adopt:

Cuddle Buggers

These tiny, bug-like creatures will crawl all over you, leaving a trail of tiny, adorable kisses wherever they go.

Levitation Lice

A parasitic pet that'll lift your spirits, and maybe even your furniture. These mischievous lice will levitate everything in sight, leaving you wondering if it's magic or just bad wiring.

Subdermal Sponges

We've got sponges for days! Okay, not literally, but our Subdermal Sponges will absorb everything you need, from your favorite snacks to your dignity. (Just kidding about the snacks.)