A: A mysterious and highly respected group of individuals who have transcended the bounds of reality and now serve as the sole arbiters of all things Blarp.
A: Simply gaze deeply into the abyss of despair, and whisper "Bl prophets, hear my call!" at the exact moment the sun passes through the crack in the wall.
A: Only if you're willing to sacrifice your firstborn to the Great Blerg.
A: Ha! You'll be lucky if you get a decent parking spot in the Blarph Prophets' lot.
Visit the Prophets 101 for more information_goals and a crash course in Blarph Prophets 101.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try Lost Ways for the secrets that lie beyond the veil of sanity.