Welcome to the Lost and Found, where our highly trained staff of 12 people who are all secretly robots will try to help you locate your missing item, but probably won't.
Our inventory is a vast labyrinth of shelves and boxes filled with a variety of items that we're not really sure are yours, but you can try to claim them if you're feeling optimistic.
Current Inventory: 1) A toaster that we think might have belonged to the guy in 3B, 2) A slightly used copy of "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu, 3) A single, unopened can of spray paint.
Lost and Found Policies: 1) We're not really sure what we're doing here, but we'll try, 2) Don't even think about asking for a receipt, 3) If you can't find it, we'll probably just tell you it's "in the shop for repairs."