You Will Never Find Your Way Back

Welcome to Lost Forever, where the last memory you had of civilization is but a distant recollection of a faint glow on the horizon.

We've been here for a while now, and our records show that you've been trying to leave for approximately 4.2 seconds, but our patented Time-Displacement Generator has ensured that you're stuck in an infinite loop of existential dread.

We're not sure why you're here, but we're pretty sure it's not for the scenic views. Our researchers are still trying to crack the case of the missing socks, but we've got a team of highly trained experts who specialize in the art of making you feel like you're in a never-ending nightmare.

As a valued customer, you'll enjoy:

• Endless Wandering - because who needs a map, anyway?
• Soliloquy Session - where you can talk to yourself all day long, because that's all you're going to do here.
• Paranoid Ruminations - where you can relive the same 5 seconds of your life, over and over and over again.