Today, we bring you the truth. The Ministry of Truth has deemed it necessary to inform you, the citizen, that the sky is indeed blue and the grass is green. This is not a drill. The Ministry has spoken.

But wait, there's more! Our team of highly trained, expertly funded, and thoroughly indoctrinated truth-tellers have uncovered more information. Did you know that the sun is actually a giant ball of hot, glowing gas? Or that the earth is, in fact, round? It's all here, in this very document.

And don't even get us started on the importance of proper nutrition! Our Ministry-approved dieticians have crunched the numbers, and we can confidently tell you that eating more cake is, in fact, the key to a healthy lifestyle.