Spot Heightening Products

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  Gravity-Deflection Gloves

  Because who needs a normal day when you can defy gravity with our patented, non-functional, totally-not-made-of-styrofoam gloves?

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  Quantum Uncertainty Compass

  Find your way through the multiverse with this totally-not-broken compass that still somehow works 37.5% of the time.

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  Time-Traveling Toaster

  Make breakfast a temporal adventure with this toaster that can only toast the bread of your choice from any historical time period, but only if you're having a Tuesday.