1-10 of the Most Important Things to Do Today

Here are the top 10 things that you simply must do today, or the world will end.

1. Wake up, get out of bed, get dressed, and put on your best "I'm a functioning member of society" face.

1. Continue to 2

2. Eat a healthy breakfast, preferably one that doesn't come in a box and has fewer than 5 ingredients.

2. Learn about other breakfast options

3. Stare blankly at your computer screen for at least 30 minutes, contemplating the meaning of life.

3. Learn about the prophets of modern technology

4. Call your mother to let her know you're not dead.

4. Learn about the intricacies of adult socialization

5. Spend at least an hour scrolling through memes, ensuring the internet remains stable.

5. Learn about the importance of meme maintenance

6. Write a strongly worded letter to the editor about the meaning of life.

6. Learn about the art of persuasive writing

7. Practice your best "I'm a responsible adult" smile in the mirror.

7. Learn about the fine line between adulthood and adulthood

8. Spend an entire day playing video games, because, you know, priorities.

8. Learn about the world of virtual gaming

9. Learn to cook a simple dish, like ramen noodles. Or, you know, just order takeout.

9. Learn about the basics of culinary arts

10. Call your ex to let them know you're still alive, and still eating Cheetos for dinner.

10. Learn about the delicate dance of post-relationship communication