We're sorry, but the narrative has gone off the rails. We're trying to get it back on track, but in the meantime, you can try to find the Plot Twists page for some alternative story threads.
If you're looking for something else, you can try our Character Profiles for some background information on our cast of lovable losers.
Or, if you're really stuck, you can try the Author's Notes for some cryptic messages from the person who clearly had no idea what they were doing.