Welcome to 3D Rendering Vertex Optimisation, a site dedicated to helping you make your 3D models look slightly less terrible.
You see, 3D models are like pizza dough - they're great, but only if you knead them just right. If you're like me, you've spent hours tweaking vertex counts, only to find your game still lags like a 90s PC.
Well, it's simple: Less vertices = Less Lag. It's like the old adage: "A smooth model is a happy model."