401k - Negotiation Tips for the Desperate

When the apocalypse comes, you'll need more than just a six-pack and a strong jawline. You'll need a 401k plan that's as tough as you are. Here are some tips to help you negotiate with your future self:

1. Be like a boss

Don't be afraid to be assertive. Remember, you're not just negotiating for yourself, you're negotiating for your future self. And if that future self is you, then you're basically just arguing with yourself. It's like being a lawyer, but with more grey hairs.

Read more about being a boss

2. Use the power of emotional manipulation

Play on your future self's emotions. Appeal to its sentimental side. "Just think of all the things you'll do for me when I'm 80, and can't even remember my own name..."

Read more about emotional manipulation

3. Be prepared to compromise

Remember, negotiation is like a game of chicken. You both lose, but you both win. Unless you're dealing with a 401k that's been hacked, then it's more like a game of 'who can hack the 401k first'.

Read more about being prepared to compromise Read more about what happens when you get hacked