The Coconut Cocktail of Desperation

This recipe is for the truly desperate, the ones who've tried it all and just want one last fix. It's a mix of rum, pineapple juice, and coconut cream, served in a hollowed-out pinecone shell.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup of dark 'n' stormy night rum
• 1 cup of pineapple juice
• 1 cup of coconut cream
• 1 pinecone shell (preferably one that's been to the depths of despair)

Instructions:

1. Find a suitable pinecone shell. One that's been worn down by the trials of life.
2. Fill the shell with rum, pineapple juice, and coconut cream.
3. Squeeze a slice of lime into it. Not too hard, just a squeeze.
4. Stir the mixture with a stick of twigs from your favorite tree.
5. Take a swig and face the desperation.

Side effects may include:

• Excessive sweating of the upper lip
• Uncontrollable crying
• Desire to write a strongly worded letter to your landlord
• Temporary loss of faith in humanity

Subpages:

More Recipes of Desperation | Secret Ingredient 1: The Root of all Problems