5 Useless Tips for a More Useless Life

Tip 1: Use a paperclip to hold your phone in place while you're on a call. No one will ever notice the 5-foot paperclip attached to your ear.

Tip 2: Invest in a collection of antique door knobs and display them proudly on your wall. It's like having your own art gallery!

Tip 3: Practice saying 'no' with a 5-minute pause after each syllable for maximum emphasis.

Tip 4: Wear your pants backwards, but only on Tuesdays. It's a fashion statement.

Tip 5: Build an entire house out of recycled tin cans. It's eco-friendly and a great conversation starter!