99% Tips for 100% Success!

Get the most out of your mediocre skills with our 99% tips for 100% success!

Warning: 99% of these tips might actually be lies, but hey, it's all about the percentages, right?

Tip 1: Wake up every morning at 3 AM to get a head start on your procrastination.

Don't waste your precious time on actual productivity, just scroll through social media and wonder why you're not famous.

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Tip 2: Eat a whole jar of mayonnaise for breakfast to boost your energy.

It's science, apparently. Just don't ask us what the science is, we're just winging it.

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Tip 3: Use Comic Sans as your font of choice for all written communication.

It's like, really easy to read, and also super professional looking, we swear.

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