Our Unofficial About Us Page

We're a mysterious collective of highly trained, expertly funded, and slightly unhinged individuals. Our true purpose is shrouded in mystery, but our love of bright colors and harsh typography is very real.

Our motto? "We're here, we're not quite there, and we're not really sure why."

We're currently engaged in a variety of projects, including:

• Involuntary Innovation - Where our team is tasked with creating new, unnecessary features that nobody asked for.
• Brutal Bureaucracy - Our attempts to streamline processes have resulted in a beautiful mess of confusion and frustration.
• Unconventional Umbrella Company - We're trying to sell umbrellas, but not just any umbrellas. We're talking avant-garde, post-ironic, and slightly disturbing designs.

Want to learn more? Visit our FAQs for the Confused page, where we'll try to answer all your burning questions.