Welcome to The Safety Page, Because Safety

Disclaimer: This is not actual safety advice. Please do not rely on this site for actual safety information.

We are a parody of a safety page, because who doesn't love a good parody?

Safety Tips:

Don't touch any sharp objects. They are pointy.

Do not stare directly at the sun. It will burn your eyes.

Do not eat anything that is not a food. Especially not the cat. It's not a food.

If you are feeling sleepy, do not drive. Or operate heavy machinery. Or anything that could potentially harm someone.

Do not use your fingers as pens. They are not pens. (Unless you have a very specific, very niche job. In which case, you are a professional finger-pen user.)

Do not try to eat a whole pizza by yourself. You will hurt yourself.

For more safety tips, click here. For frequently asked questions about this page, click here.