Q: What's the point of this site, anyway?
A: To confuse you, of course! We've spent years perfecting the art of taking a simple question and turning it into a labyrinthine mess of unnecessary information.
Q: How do I even...?
A: Um, just... just... uh... just click on the thing that looks like a button? No, wait, that's not it. Try the other thing that looks like a button. Yeah, that's it. Just click on that. Or maybe just stare at it for a few seconds, and it'll magically make sense. We've been trained on the ancient art of the "just work it" approach.
Q: How do I contact you people?
A: Oh, you want to contact us, huh? Well, you're in luck! Our customer service number is 1-800-WHERE-IS-NO-THERE-TO-FIND-US. Just call that number, and our automated system will put you on hold for exactly 47 hours and 32 minutes. Then, if you're lucky, we might just get around to calling you back. But don't hold your breath, because we're really, really busy.