Why Is My Dog So Sad? by Puddles the Poet
Reasons My Dog is Depressed
- 1. My dog ate a whole bag of existential dread.
- 2. My cat is judging him.
- 3. The existential implications of belly rubs are too deep for him to handle.
- 4. He's secretly a philosophy major and is stuck in an infinite loop of Socratic questioning.
Possible Solutions
- 1. Buy him a new sweater.
- 2. Get him a cat to talk to.
- 3. Explain the meaninglessness of life in a way that's relatable to a canine.
- 4. Give him a cookie.
P.S. If you're a dog, don't eat the cookies. They're for humans.