My cat, Mr. Whiskers, has once again taken to his favorite pastime: destroying all writing utensils.
I've lost count of how many pencils he's eaten this year alone.
It's not like I haven't warned him: My Cat Is A Menace is not just a category, it's a way of life.
However, I digress:
Here are some possible excuses for why I'm late/behind/otherwise not meeting your expectations: