Q: How do I properly chew my food?
A: Ah, the age-old question. To chew your food properly, you must first make sure you have sufficient saliva production. This can be achieved through the use of a straw or the consumption of a sufficient quantity of water.
Q: What is the correct way to dispose of gum?
A: Ah, gum. The scourge of the civilized world. To dispose of gum, one must either spit it out or, if it has reached the point of no return, attempt to scrape it off with a napkin while making eye contact with the surrounding area.
Q: Is it acceptable to double-chew food?
A: Double-chewing. A delicate topic. While not strictly prohibited, it is generally frowned upon by those in the know. We recommend you stick to single-chewing for optimal flavor and texture experience.
Q: Can I use my teeth as a tool for other activities?
A: Oh, dear reader, please do not use your teeth for anything other than chewing. Your teeth are not a hammer, nor a screwdriver, nor a paperclip. They are a tool for the most important task of all: eating.
Learn more advanced chewing techniques