Because, let's face it, you're going to need some serious armaments to take on your fellow citizens. We've got you covered.
Don't settle for anything less than the ultimate in tennis supremacy. Browse our selection of Totalitarian Tennis Rackets:
This racket is for the true master of the game. Its sleek design and advanced features will make you the envy of all who oppose you.
Perfect for the modern totalitarian, this racket is designed to block out all distractions, including the sound of your opponents' cries for help.
A racket so powerful, it'll make you wonder why anyone would ever challenge your authority.