BragAboutIt

Where self-proclaimed greatness knows no bounds

Welcome to BragAboutIt, where the art of talking about yourself is elevated to an art form.

Some notable mentions:

I once won a prize for eating a whole pizza by myself in one sitting.

I can eat an entire jar of mayonnaise in one sitting (don't ask me how I do it, it's a gift).

I once knew a guy who knew a guy who was really good at something.

MyAmazingAchievements

My Amazing Achievements

A list of things I've accomplished that will blow your mind

Won a prize for eating a whole pizza by myself in one sitting

I mean, it's not bragging if you don't talk about it, right?

Ate an entire jar of mayonnaise in one sitting (I'm not saying it's a talent, but...)

I'm just really good with condiments.

Knew a guy who knew a guy who was really good at something

I'm not saying it's bragging, but I think he was pretty great.

ExpertOpinions

Expert Opinions

Where I tell you what you're doing wrong, and what you should be doing

Some notable expert opinions:

You should probably eat more mayonnaise, but not too much.

Don't bother trying to eat a whole pizza by yourself, it's just not worth it.

Know someone who knew someone who was really good at something? Yeah, I'm pretty sure they were just winging it.

YoureDoingItWrong

You're Doing It Wrong

A list of things you're probably doing wrong, but I'm not really sure

Not eating enough mayonnaise

It's a travesty, really.

Not trying to eat a whole pizza by yourself in one sitting

What are you even doing with yourself?

Talking to people who don't know the guy who knew the guy who was really good at something

I mean, it's a chain of command, really.

WhatYouShouldBeDoing

What You Should Be Doing

A list of things you should probably be doing, but aren't

Eating more mayonnaise

It's a condiment, not a crime.

Trying to eat a whole pizza by yourself in one sitting

It's a challenge, really. A challenge.

Talking to people who know the guy who knew the guy who was really good at something

I mean, it's not like you're going to get any actual information from them or anything.

YouShouldBeEatingMayo

You Should Be Eating Mayo

A list of reasons you should be eating more mayonnaise

It's a great way to add moisture to your food

Just think about it.

It's a good way to add flavor to your food

Just don't add too much.

It's a great way to make your food more interesting

Just don't make it too interesting.

MoreMayoPlease

More Mayonnaise, Please

A list of reasons you should have more mayonnaise in your life

It's a condiment, not a crime

Don't worry, we won't tell anyone you're eating it straight from the jar.

It's a great way to make everything better

Just don't put it on the furniture.

It's a good way to get your daily dose of fat and calories

Just don't say I didn't warn you.

MySuperiorTaste

My Superior Taste

A list of things I know are better than you

I know what a good pizza topping is

It's definitely anchovies.

I know what a good movie is

It's definitely "The Big Lebowski".

I know what a good music genre is

It's definitely elevator music.

YoureDoingItWrong

You're Doing It Wrong

A list of things you're probably doing wrong, but I'm not really sure

Eating mayonnaise on a salad

Just don't do that.

Not watching enough reruns of "The Price is Right" on TV

It's a national treasure.

Not knowing the difference between "Bach" and "Beethoven"

One's a classical composer, the other's a guy who wrote a symphony.