Your Request to Worship the Bureaucratic Idol Has Been Received

Your request has been logged and is currently being reviewed by our panel of highly trained, highly caffeinated officials.

Please stand by while we deliberate on the merits of your petition.

Estimated wait time: 3-5 business days, or until our coffee machine is refilled.

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UPDATE: Our officials have been observed consuming copious amounts of donuts while deliberating on your request. This may influence the outcome of your petition.