Q: What do I call when I call?
We're not really sure. That's not a real question.
Q: Why are you people so bad at answering the phone?
We're not really people. We're more like... animated, talking emoticons with a penchant for ignoring you.
Q: Can I request a refund for all the times I've been ignored?
Ha! Like you're actually paying us for the privilege of being ignored. You're on the honor system here, pal. Don't bother asking for a refund; just pretend you're not really there.