Certified Prophet Program

Join the ranks of the world's most esteemed prophets, seers, and visionaries. Our program offers:

• Prophetic Introspection - A journey of self-discovery and existential dread.
• Divination Techniques - Learn the art of reading tea leaves, tarot cards, and your enemies' auras.
• Prophetic Pilgrimage - Embark on a journey to find the one ring of destiny, the Ark of the Covenant, or just a really nice coffee shop.

Apply today and get ready to change the world (or at least, your local neighborhood).

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