Step 1: The Unsettling of the Senses
Before we even touch the champagne, we must first break free from our mundane existence. Find a quiet spot, away from the crushing ennui of modern life. Let the stillness seep into your very pores, and for the love of all things bubbly, DO NOT THINK ABOUT YOUR BILLS.
- Clear your palate with a neutral cracker (or 5) to reset your taste buds.
- Wear your finest, most ostentatious outfit to signal to the world that you're a connoisseur of the finer things in life.
- Proceed to Step 2: The Sensory Debauchery
Did you know that champagne is just a wine with added carbon dioxide? Mind. Blown.