At Claw Prophets of Doom, we don't just claw, we prophesize. And by "prophesize," we mean make bold, yet questionable, predictions about the future.
Our methods are simple: we stare intensely at a crystal ball, make a few educated guesses, and voila! The future is revealed in all its glorious, yet completely accurate, detail.
Step 1: Find a suitable clawing surface. This can be a piece of furniture, a sentient being, or a sentient piece of furniture.
Step 2: Focus your inner prophet.
Step 3: Claw. And by "claw," we mean touch, with a sense of purpose.
Step 4: Interpret the results.
And that's it! Easy, right?
We're not done yet, folks! For the more experienced prophet, we offer:
Stay tuned for more chapters!