Standard Operating Procedures

Compliance Crazies SOPs

Our standard operating procedures for dealing with the absurdly complex and ever-changing regulations:

1. Read the manual. No, really, read the manual.
2. Repeat the manual back to yourself three times in front of a mirror.
3. Call your supervisor and ask them to explain it again.
4. Cry quietly in a corner.
5. Fill out the requisite forms in triplicate.
6. Submit said forms to the Compliance Crazies Approval Committee (CCAC).
7. Wait 6-12 months for approval.
8. Repeat steps 1-7 ad infinitum.

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Compliance Crazies Frequently Asked Questions