Welcome, future couch warrior! Are you ready to learn the art of doing absolutely nothing?
Our academy offers the most rigorous, most intense, and most utterly useless training in the world. Our curriculum includes:
- Extreme Sitting Techniques - Learn how to sit for hours on end without getting a sore back or a decent night's sleep.
- Procrastination Strategies - Master the art of doing nothing productive for weeks on end.
- Munchie Mastery - Discover the secrets of consuming an entire pizza by yourself in one sitting.
Enroll now, and receive a free pair of sweatpants with every registration!