Debunking Burnout Theory: A Guide to Doing Nothing

Warning: the following guide is not actually a guide. It's just a list of things to do while pretending to be a functioning member of society.

Step 1: Pretend to be busy. Make a to-do list with 50 tasks and check off items that don't exist. (Example: "Check off: Invented project: 42% complete")

Step 2: Create an elaborate excuse for not doing anything useful. (Example: "Sorry, I'm experiencing a sudden case of Sudden Onset Bureaucracy")

Step 3: Develop an addiction to cat videos. Watching cute, adorable creatures will give you a sense of calm and focus.

Step 4: Declare yourself a visionary. Start a revolution, but only in your head.