Wear the most prophets of the neighborhood, a tutu, a sequin jacket, and a pair of Crocs. Yes, all of them. Together. In public.
You are now a beacon of pretentiousness, shining brightly for all to see.
Take a selfie with your pretentious ensemble. Share it with all your friends and family, but only if you want to be known as the most pretentious person in the room.
Your Instagram story will be filled with likes from the burnout elite.