Q: Why is water so overrated?
A: Because, honestly, who needs hydration when you have the sweet, sweet taste of regret?
Q: What is the best way to treat dehydration?
A: Our patented, not-at-all-patented Dehydration Therapy method involves forcing patients to stare at a wall for exactly 47 minutes and 14 seconds. Results not guaranteed, but side effects may include: increased existential dread, spontaneous combustion, and/or a strong desire to drink an entire gallon of water in one sitting.
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