Welcome, wretched soul, to Despair-Induced Panic Support Staff. We're here to help you with your existential crises, but let's be real, we're not actually going to help you. That's your job.
We have an extensive team of experts in the field of Despair-Induced Panic, including but not limited to:
- Our team of highly trained professionals in the art of making you question your life choices
- A support specialist with a PhD in Procrastination Techniques
- A therapist who specializes in treating patients with a strong sense of impending doom