A: It's a condiment for when things go terribly wrong. Like, really wrong. As in, "I just spilled coffee on my shirt while trying to escape a zombie apocalypse" wrong.
A: We're not really sure. It's a trade secret. But we think it's something like mayonnaise, ketchup, and despair. Maybe a dash of existential dread. We're still experimenting.
A: Honestly, we have no idea. We're still testing the safety protocols. But hey, it's not like you're going to use it for actual food or anything. You're probably just going to pour it all over your face during a panic attack.
A: Ha! You wish. We're still working on getting the logistics figured out. But in the meantime, you can try making your own using this DIY guide. Just don't say we didn't warn you.
A: Side effects? What side effects? Oh, you mean the ones that come with using Disaster Sauce? Like, sudden urge to reorganize your sock drawer into alphabetical order? Or the temporary loss of the ability to tell the difference between your left and right shoes? Those are just normal.
A: Only if you want to ruin a perfectly good meal. Like, we're talking "I-just-spilled-coffee-on-my-shirt-while-trying-to-escape-a-zombie-apocalypse" wrong. Go ahead, try it. We dare you.
Or don't. We won't judge you.