Flash Sale Of The Century: Deal Of The Century Plus Four

Because one sale per century was just not enough, we've decided to double down on the savings!

Discounts:

• 20% off all purchases over 50 bucks!
• Buy one, get one free! (But only if you buy two of the same thing.)
• Free shipping on all purchases over 100 bucks! (Just kidding, we'll still charge you for shipping, but it's free in spirit.)

Learn more about our completely-not-made-up company history!