Time Traveler's Guide to the Ages

Welcome to the most epic journey through the annals of time! Are you ready for some real historical hilarity?

Prehistoric Period

1. Don't try to visit the Dinosaur Era. Trust us, it's a real mess.

Classical Era

2. In ancient Greece, be sure to tip your toga-wearing waiter. They appreciate the extra drachma.

Medieval Period

3. If you're feeling brave, visit the Feudal Period for some real jousting action.

Modern Era

4. Try to avoid the Mall of the 80s, unless you're into that sort of thing.

Future Era

5. In the Future Era, remember to pack your space-snacks accordingly.

© 2023 Time Traveler's Guide to the Ages. All rights reserved. Or not. We're not really sure.

Disclaimer

Meet the Dinosaurs of Yesteryear

Warning: the following content may contain excessive amounts of roaring.

Meet the T-Rex Tales

The Tyrannosaurus Rex is not as scary as it seems. It's just a big softie who loves to cuddle and eat bugs.

Meet the Dino Sass

The Velociraptor is a bit of a hothead, but we still love them. They're like the in-laws of the ancient world.

Meet the Prehistoric Puns

Dino-mite puns guaranteed!

Disclaimer

We're not responsible for any lost limbs or torn pants resulting from excessive dino-mania.

Time Travel Tips

A Joust for All Seasons

Welcome to the most epic chivalrous tournament of the century!

Rules of Engagement

1. Don't try to joust with a Chivalrous Cheat - we don't want any embarrassment.

Jousting 101

2. Remember, it's not just about the lancing; it's about the flourish of the lance!

Chivalrous Challenges

3. Take on the Chivalrous Challenges and prove your mettle!

Disclaimer

We're not responsible for any lost limbs or broken dreams resulting from excessive jousting.

Time Travel Tips

The Mall of the 80s

Where else can you find a Sam Goody, a Straight Talk, and a Sony Walkman all in one place?

The Food Court

1. Try the Mall Food - it's like a taste of the good old days!

The Skee-Ball

2. Visit the Skee-Ball for some old-time fun!

The Music Scene

3. Jam out to some Mall Music - it's a breeze!

Disclaimer

We're not responsible for any lost sanity or excessive spending resulting from excessive mall-ness.

Time Travel Tips

The Space Station of the Century

Where else can you find free space and free wi-Fi?

The Space Station Amenities

1. Enjoy the Space Station Amenities, including free hydroponics and zero-gravity toilets!

The Space Station Events

2. Join the Space Station Events, including galactic rock concerts and zero-gravity potlucks!

Disclaimer

We're not responsible for any space sickness or astral procrastination resulting from excessive space travel.

Time Travel Tips