Features:
- Toasts to a precise 5000-degree heat, guaranteed not to burn your bread to a crisp.
- Prints your name in fire, because who needs a simple 'Toasted to Perfection' message?
- Comes with a complimentary bottle of 'I-told-you-so' sauce, because we care about your feelings.
- Built to last, with a 100% non-toxic, all-brick construction.
- Includes a free side of burnt offering to the toaster gods, because we're feeling generous.
We're not just a toaster, we're a lifestyle. Buy now and join the revolution!