Warning: The following strategies have resulted in at least one team member's emotional breakdown and/or permanent hearing loss.
1. The Silent Treatment: Ignore everyone's questions and concerns, and just pretend you're a stoic, stoic, stoic.
2. The Blame Game: Shift the entire burden of responsibility to one team member. It's not you, it's them, no, really, it's the coffee machine that's malfunctioning.
3. The Passive-Aggressive Memo: Write 10 pages of dense, jargon-filled reports to "facilitate" communication. Guaranteed to put everyone to sleep in under 5 minutes.
4. The Microwavering Dictator: Hold meetings that last 3 hours, and only allow 5-minute breaks for coffee refills. Don't bother with actual discussion, just let the meeting drone on forever.
5. The Random-Word-Association Method: Try to explain complex ideas using random words and phrases, and see who's still awake after 5 minutes.