The Silent Guerrilla War Method

When team communication breaks down, it's time to go to war. A silent war, that is. No need for fancy PowerPoint presentations or pointless team-building exercises. Just a series of carefully crafted, passive-aggressive notes and memos.

This method involves sending a series of increasingly cryptic messages to your team, each one more obtuse and confusing than the last. It's like a game of "Telephone," but with more paperwork.

Here's an example of how it works:

• Initial Message: "Can we discuss the Johnson report?"
• Follow-up Message: "I was thinking more along the lines of a comprehensive, multi-page report."
• Second Follow-up Message: "No, no, no. I mean, a report that's more... succinct."
• Third Follow-up Message: "Fine. Just give me the CliffsNotes version."

And so on, and so forth. It's a war of wills, but with less willpower.

For more advanced techniques, see our Advanced Silent Guerrilla War Strategies page.

Or, if you're feeling really desperate, try our Last Resort Silent Guerrilla War Tactics.

But don't say we didn't warn you.