Excessive Caffeine Intake Theories

A list of completely unscientific and utterly ridiculous theories on why excessive caffeine intake leads to greatness.

The Caffeine-Fueled Time-Traveler Theory

It's a little-known fact that caffeine allows you to bend the space-time continuum, allowing for brief, unexplained absences from the office coffee machine.

Learn more about time travel techniques

The Caffeine-Fueled Superhuman Theory

Caffeine consumption unlocks hidden reserves of strength, speed, and agility, allowing for feats of superhuman prowess, like bench-pressing an entire pizza by yourself.

Read about the physics-defying feats of caffeine-fueled athletes

The Caffeine-Fueled Socialite Theory

Caffeine consumption allows you to talk to anyone, anywhere, at any time, and still manage to sound intelligent and interesting.

Discover the art of caffeine-fueled small talk

Warning: excessive caffeine consumption can lead to actual superpowers, but also uncontrollable twitching.

Learn about the risks of caffeine-fueled superpowers