As a renowned expert in excessive self-care, I'm here to guide you through the essential art of napping. It's not just about sleeping, my friend. No, no. It's a finely honed skill that requires dedication, patience, and a willingness to abandon all sense of productivity.
Step 1: Create a cozy napping chamber. This may involve constructing an elaborate fort, investing in a memory foam mattress, or convincing your roommate to install blackout curtains.
Step 2: Develop a napping schedule. This might mean allocating 3-4 hours per day, 6-8 hours on the weekends, and an additional 2 hours during lunch. Don't worry about the impact on your social calendar; your friends will understand.
Step 3: Master the napping techniques. This includes but is not limited to: the art of snoring, the science of drooling, and the subtle dance of twitching your toes.
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