Excuses for Influenza Invention

Because, you know, being stuck at home in my PJs is the best use of my time ever.

And besides, I'm allergic to productivity.

• My doctor just phoned and said I wasn't infected, but I'm pretty sure they're just in cahoots with my landlord.
• I just spent the whole day playing video games and I need to recover.
• My parrot is acting up and needs me.