Outrageous Excuses for Not Attending
My fluffy kitten is sick
My grandma just died and I need comfort
My internet is down and it takes me too long to get it working
My couch is currently occupied by a dead body and it's a real problem now
My parrot just learned how to talk and is driving me insane
My nearest Starbucks just opened a new low-cost location and it took all my willpower
Why I can't attend your event is none of your business
If I show up I'll just end up getting involved in all of your other shenanigans
Your event is not on my schedule and it took me too long to create one this year
My doctor ordered me to stay home and it's not just for the blonde hair
Your event is too far and it takes me too many hours to get there and back
My phone just got into the blind mode and is now playing the entire song collection of Michael Jackson
My grandma is now running the company and it turns out that I'm not allowed any visits anymore
My internet is currently down and my only source of entertainment is the local fish store
My grandma just started a new reality TV show and it takes all of my attention now
My nearest store is now hosting its annual sale and I need to stock up my sock drawers immediately