Q: What is Exorcism?
Exorcism is the process of forcibly removing a demon from your home, usually by shouting loudly and waving your arms in a circle while performing the Macarena. It's like a spiritual karate-chop, but with more cursing and less karate.
Q: Is Exorcism Real?
We can neither confirm nor deny the existence of demons, but we can assure you that our Exorcism Guarantee program is 100% real. Ask your local priest or exorcist if you don't believe us.
Q: How Do I Exorcise a Demon?
Step 1: Turn off all lights and electronics. Step 2: Put on a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. Step 3: Shout "Get out, demon, GET OUT!" while performing the Macarena. Repeat as necessary.
Q: Can I Exorcise My Neighbours?
Yes, yes, yes! In fact, we highly recommend it. Just make sure to wear a Hazmat suit and some earplugs, because those neighbours of yours are probably possessed by the spirit of annoying-ness.
Q: Exorcism Guarantee
Our Exorcism Guarantee: If we fail to remove a demon from your home, we'll send you a free pizza and a signed copy of the Exorcist's Handbook. But don't worry, we're pretty sure it'll all be fine.
Q: Buy Exorcisms
Exorcisms are available in our store! Don't forget to use code EXORC10 for 10% off your first purchase!
Q: Contact Us
Send us a message, and we'll get back to you within 3-5 business days, assuming the demon doesn't possess our email server.