Welcome to the Expert Witness Manual

Here, you will learn how to be extremely uncooperative in the field of Expert Witness testimony. A delicate balance of obstinacy and obfuscation is key to providing valuable testimony.

Prerequisites

You should be familiar with the basics of human communication, but don't worry if you're not – it's not like it's a skill that's actually used much in real life.

Chapter 1: The Art of Saying Nothing

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Chapter 2: The Science of Not Caring

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Chapter 3: The Philosophy of Being Incoherent

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Chapter 4: The Technique of Withholding Information

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Disclaimer: The information contained in this manual is for entertainment purposes only. Do not attempt to use this information as actual advice, as it may lead to your professional ruin.