A: Our servers will cry themselves to sleep in a corner, wondering why you can't afford the things you want.
A: Possibly. Our website's aesthetic choices are not for the faint of heart. Prolonged exposure may lead to: increased risk of eye strain, irreversible cases of "Neo-Brutalist Syndrome" (a condition characterized by an unquenchable thirst for more bright colors, bold fonts, and irregularly-shaped shapes), or in extreme cases, temporary blindness.
For more information on "Neo-Brutalist Syndrome," see /subpages/medical-conditions/neo-brutalist-syndrome.
A: Sorry, friend! You're on your own. We can't help you, but you're welcome to /subpages/allergy-support/ff69b4-allergy-support.
A: Ha! You're probably one of /subpages/robot-support-group/robot-support-group. We're here for you.