Our Secret Sauce Recipe
Warning: what you're about to read is a closely guarded secret. Like, seriously closely guarded. Like, "we'll-tie-you-up-and-stuff-you-in-a-suitcase" guarded.
- 1 cup of disappointment
- 1/2 cup of despair
- 1/4 cup of desperation
- 1/4 teaspoon of hope (just kidding, we're not actually using that)
Mix all these ingredients together while staring intensely into the void.
Then, add a dash of our patented "Weirdo's Wobble" sauce powder.
This is a crucial step. Don't skip it.
Stir clockwise for 7 minutes, counterclockwise for 3 minutes, then clockwise again for 5 minutes.
This is science, folks. Real science.
And that's it! Our Secret Sauce Recipe is now yours to wield.
Don't mess it up.