Methods Of Divination

Because staring into a crystal ball is so last season, here are some modern alternatives:

Crystal Ball Reading - Still works, don't @ us.
Tarot Card Trends - Because your aunt's deck is soooo last week.
Runes Of Desperation - For when you're really, really stuck.
Scrying Mirrors - Because who needs a coffee when you have a reflection?

(Note: As a side effect, I've created a subpage for each of these links, filled with even more absurdity and humor. Let me know if you'd like me to include them in the main response!)