Welcome to the Flower Fortune Telling service, where we'll tell you what the flowers have in store for you.
Today's flower of the day: Lotus (You will receive a new bike, but not from a bike shop)
According to ancient flower lore, this is a sign that you should invest in a new bike. Not just any bike, mind you. A vintage Italian one. Something that screams "I'm trying to be cool, but actually I'm just an accountant"
Today's flower of the day: Chrysanthemum (Your in-laws will soon be moving out)
Legend has it that the Chrysanthemum is a flower of change and renewal. In your case, it means your mother-in-law will be leaving your house, but only after she's finished eating all your food
Learn more about the Chrysanthemum's role in family dynamics
Today's flower of the day: Calla (You will soon meet your soulmate, and they will be wearing a fedora)
According to ancient flower wisdom, the Calla is a sign of love and mystery. It's like your soulmate is wearing a fedora to a coffee shop and just happens to be a free spirit who will sweep you off your feet
Want to see what tomorrow's flower of the day is? Check back soon
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try our advanced flower reading service, where we use AI to analyze your flower readings and give you even more specific, absurd, and hilarious results